


Bonding Amid The Bangs

by lifeandliterature



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex Rider Needs a Hug, Alex Rider has PTSD, Alex Rider is So Done, Alex Rider is a Mess, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bonding, Everyone Needs A Hug, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other: See Story Notes, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, so Alex is too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29883783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeandliterature/pseuds/lifeandliterature
Summary: Oneshot- Ever since MI6’s involvement in his life, Alex has been plagued by vicious flashbacks brought on by his PTSD. Fireworks are one of his many triggers. It’s New Year’s Day and Alex is finding it hard to escape his own mind. But, what he doesn’t realise, is that he isn’t the only person who struggles to keep their past where it belongs...
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Bonding Amid The Bangs

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short oneshot that came to me the other day and I thought I might as well share it with you. In this fic, Alex lives with K-Unit and has been for a while. I’m not entirely sure why, maybe they agreed to take care of him, maybe it’s for his protection, you can interpret it however you wish. Anyway, please feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought! I think that’s everything and I hope you enjoy :)...

BANG! Alex flinched and turned to look at the small, digital clock on his bedside table. The numbers came into focus, glowing red in the darkness, and he let out a frustrated groan. It was one o’clock in the morning. 

The explosive noises of the fireworks had been pounding at his skull for almost three hours now, and he absolutely hated the feeling of hopeless terror that the sound brought him. 

Prior to his involvement with MI6, during the brief period of his life in which he had been a normal teenager, Alex had never had a problem with fireworks. After all, he had had no reason to. It was only after his first mission that he’d begun to appreciate how unnervingly similar to gunfire the relentless bangs sounded. 

BANG! Alex buried his face in his pillow, irritated and exhausted. The constant, resounding bangs and bright flashing lights would’ve made it difficult for _anyone_ to fall asleep, let alone a paranoid teenage spy with PTSD. 

Typically, New Year’s Day fireworks only last about half an hour (from midnight, to half past) but, for some reason, the new neighbours felt the need to carry them on all night. Just his luck. 

BANG! He resisted the urge to dive under his bed. It isn’t gunfire, he reminded himself. Just fireworks. 

BANG! _Julius Grief was lying, dead, at his feet, a bleeding bullet-wound right between his eyes._

It’s just fireworks. There’s nothing to worry about. You’re safe now. 

BANG! _General Sarov had pressed the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger, a spray of crimson blood blossoming from his head._

Just fireworks. 

BANG! _His uncle, Ian, was dead._

Deep breath in, deep breath out. 

BANG! _Yassen Gregorovitch._

He tried to keep up his mantra of _“it’s just fireworks, they can’t hurt you, you’re safe”_ but it was becoming harder and harder to ignore the images in his mind, with every second that passed. 

BANG! _Dr Grief._

BANG! _Ash._

BANG! _His parents._

BANG! _Jack….._

He sat bolt-upright, gasping and fighting the flashbacks with every inch of his willpower. Pressing his hands to his eyes, he realised he was crying, but couldn't bring himself to care. 

BANG! He couldn’t take it anymore. Dragging himself out of bed, he stripped off his vest, unbuttoned his trousers with trembling hands, and pulled on a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting, v-neck t-shirt. His heart still pounding, he tiptoed along the corridor, to the bathroom, trying his best not to wake K-Unit. 

After splashing some cold water on his face and taking a few deep breaths, Alex was feeling a lot better. BANG! _Scarlet blood, white walls, chains, cold sightless eyes, screaming, screaming, SCREAMING…_ He jumped in shock and swore, the panic clouding his mind and filling it with images he had no desire to relive. 

Leaning against the wall, he tried to ground himself, concentrating on the tiles of the bathroom floor, cold against his bare feet, how the pattern of the wall left ridges on his arm, anything that’d pull him out of his own mind. He was horribly aware of the pounding of his heart, the  
shaking of his hands and the somersaulting sensation in his stomach. Damn, PTSD was a bitch. 

Deep in thought, Alex mulled over his options. What was he going to do now? It was obvious that he wasn’t going to fall asleep, at least not while the fireworks carried on. However, the prospect of going back to his room and laying there, alone, in the darkness, while his mind relentlessly produced a slideshow of his toughest moments, made him feel sick to the stomach. BANG! _A bullet-ridden compound, the stench of burning, the whirring of a helicopter…_ Maybe they would seem quieter downstairs? It was worth a try. 

Trying to be as silent as possible, (not that there was much point, the fireworks would muffle the sound of his footsteps anyway) Alex made his way downstairs….

….only to find Wolf, already sitting at the kitchen table! 

“Wolf?” The man in question flinched violently, sending the cup of coffee he had been nursing crashing to the floor. After a torrent of swear words, Wolf finally managed to string together a sentence without an expletive in it.

“Cub?” He exclaimed. “What the hell are you doing up?” Reluctant to explain the past few hours, Alex hesitated before saying, “I could ask you the same question.” Wolf grunted and stood up, reaching for the wad of paper towels, beside the sink. “I’ll do that.” Alex offered, as the man bent down to clean up the spilt coffee. “Why?”  
“Because I want to,” he retorted, taking the towels from Wolf and offering him what he hoped was a genuine-looking smile. He didn’t tell him the real reason for his sudden eagerness to be helpful; he’d take any distraction that kept his mind off the gunshots…..No, _fireworks_ , he corrected himself. 

BANG! Alex flinched. He couldn’t help it, the memories he was being forced to relive were too painful. Certain that Wolf had seen his brief moment of panic, Alex turned around hesitantly, mentally preparing a plausible excuse for his obviously shattered nerves. The sight that met his eyes was the last thing he’d have expected. The usually composed Wolf was sitting down, head resting in his shaking hands, making a conscious effort to breathe deeply. It occurred to Alex that he wasn’t the only one who struggled to keep his past where it belonged. 

“You alright?” Alex asked, genuine concern lacing his tone. The soldier’s head snapped up, a guarded look in his eyes, and he cleared his throat, before saying, “Of course I’m alright. Why wouldn’t I be?” There was a slight bitterness to his words and Alex was taken aback. “Dunno”,  
he muttered, rising from his position on the floor and taking the seat next to Wolf. “Thanks for clearing that up.”  
“No problem.” They sat in silence for several minutes. 

BANG! This time there was no denying that something was wrong. When the sound of the next firework came echoing through the house, both Alex and Wolf visibly flinched. Before either of them had a chance to say anything, however, Ben Daniels (or Fox as he was known within K-Unit) walked into the kitchen, a frown etched upon his face. He was obviously surprised to find the pair sitting together at the table, but his career had taught him how to mask his true emotions, and he hid it well. “Can I join you?” he asked, with a slightly forced smile. After a jerky nod from Alex, he pulled up a chair and sat down heavily. 

BANG! Alex closed his eyes, desperately trying to maintain his composure in front of the two men. After all, how pathetic was that? A fifteen year old who was scared of fireworks. 

“Cub?” It was Fox who had spoken. Alex opened his eyes and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. “Yeah?”  
“You okay?” No, he thought. I am really NOT okay. Of course, he didn't say that out loud. Instead, he simply muttered, “Define okay.” Wolf rolled his eyes and Fox grinned. 

BA- CRASH! The deafening sound of the next firework was drowned out by an ominous crash reverberating from upstairs. His SAS training kicking in, Wolf instantly jumped to his feet, quickly followed by Fox and Alex. The two spies and the soldier raced up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Wolf veered round the corner, expecting a break-in, an assassination attempt, anything other than...

“EAGLE?!” 

The soldier was, rather ironically, spread-eagled on the floor, surrounded by the remnants of what looked like a chair. ‘Eagle,” Wolf repeated, “what the bloody hell is going on?!” Eagle brushed himself off, appearing completely at ease, a guilty smile playing at his lips. “Weeeelllll….” Before he had a chance to continue, Fox, who knew from personal experience that if you let Eagle talk for too long, you’d be there all night, interrupted him. “The short version, please.” Eagle smirked, before stating,  
“Alright, well, I just decided to do a bit of redecorating and accidentally dropped this chair.”  
“Redecorating at two in the morning?” Wolf asked, incredulously.  
“Couldn't sleep.” Eagle muttered, “And anyway, what were you three doing downstairs?”  
“Same as you, we couldn’t sleep.” Alex supplied. “Although, we thought of a rather more sane method of distraction.” 

At that moment, the door to their right swung open and Snake stumbled out, rubbing his eyes and yawning. The man seemed surprised to find the rest of his unit standing on the landing, all looking down at Eagle, who was still sprawled on the floor, surrounded by pieces of splintered wood. “Guys?” he asked, groggily, “What's going on?” After all, it wasn’t every day that you came across a bunch of soldiers and spies standing around broken pieces of furniture at two in the morning. 

Before anyone had a chance to speak, Wolf, who was evidently nearing the end of his tether, stepped in. “None of us could sleep, and Eagle was redecorating for some ungodly reason and he dropped the chair because he's an uncoordinated idiot.” At this, everyone looked to Eagle, who simply smiled and said, “Yep. That just about sums it up.” There was a short pause before Fox spoke up. “Anyone fancy a coffee?”

And that was how they all ended up sitting at the dining room table, drinking coffee, at 2:30 AM on New Year’s Day.

At first, everyone seemed content to ignore the elephant in the room and simply sat in silence, the occasional slurp of someone taking a sip from their mug all that could be heard. But, after a while, the silence was becoming unbearable. Snake opened his mouth to speak but, before he had a chance to say anything more than “I-“, the sound of another firework echoed throughout the house. 

BANG! Everyone flinched as one and it looked as if they'd suddenly been hit by a thousand volts of electricity. Glancing around the table, Alex sat in stunned silence for a few moments and then, absurdly, burst into helpless laughter.

One by one, the members of K-Unit joined him, until the sound of their laughter filled the room. The situation was just so surreal; tough soldiers and spies reduced to terrified wrecks by something as unthreatening as a firework. Alex caught Ben’s eye, and his laughter came back tenfold, replacing the fear and leaving him gasping for air. 

Looking at the four men assembled around him, laughing and drinking their coffee, Alex realised how lucky he was to have found a group of people who truly understood him. In their presence, he finally felt as if he belonged, when he was so used to being alone. He could be himself, without fear of accidentally giving something away or slipping up. At last, he had the chance to relax and enjoy being a teenager. Of course, there would be bad days - for them more than most- but now he realised that he didn’t have to go through them alone. 

He smiled as he watched Eagle tease Wolf for spilling his coffee at the sound of a firework and the latter retaliate by pouring the remaining contents of the cup over his head. He watched Fox try to contain his laughter and fail miserably, and Snake sigh in pretend exasperation, when, in reality, everyone knew he found it hilarious. 

Somehow, the fireworks didn’t seem quite so loud anymore.


End file.
